lalalaa.

I've been in a good mood, and no one can spoil it :D.

happy :D.

I got an A for PW :D! My whole group got A; the only group in the class whose all members got A. In total, more than half of my class got A, and the rest B. That's such an unexpectedly good result :)). All my slogging was worth it, haha!

My head is cleared, all the devils are gone, and Monica is a free girl x).

SYF rehearsal yesterday was okay. The concert hall was big and cool (also literally), and the sound was different there. We had to play extra loud, that at the end of the day some of us were saying that we might just get blisters on our right hand. But it was lucky that we got to try out the sound in the real SYF venue, otherwise we'd be really screwed on the real day. It's 18 days to SYF xDD.

I need to lose weight D:<.

I'm saving money for Epik High's album. It's $40+!

zzzz.

I'm super tired. I thank the previous batch of Exco for giving me this post which I find to be fun, but I really think that they should have given it to someone more competent, musically. I seriously suck so bad, I'd wished that I could dig a hole and hide in it. From now on I'm gonna let the more pro ones take over. Guh, I can't believe how arrogant I have been. I'm gonna make sure that the person taking my post will have a strong enough music background >:[.

I don't like anybody, in case you're wondering. Honestly.

It's 9pm and I feel like hitting the sack. ZZZzzzz.

sleepy!

PW result is gonna be out this Thursday! I'm so excited :DD.

We're gonna have SYF full-dress rehearsal at RP on Thursday too, at 7-9pm. I'm suddenly feeling really nervous about the SYF =X. (Which is gonna be on the 28th; did I mention it before?)

Had one day full of Physics tutorial today; for 3 hours. Maths and Econs tutorials are moved to Thursday, only for this week. I almost died, man x__x. I had not even done the tutorial past the first 2 questions 'cos I didn't (and still don't fully) understand the topic. It's quite amazing that I managed to survive the 3 hours.

Thursday is gonna be a very busy day. But I believe that I can make it through the emotional roller coaster. If you know what I'm talking about, haha x).

I reached home early today and had wanted to sleep for 2 hours, but something really disturbing kept me awake. Seriously, someone tell me I'm just being delusional/over-sensitive/vain. And I'll be really grateful.

I, frankly, would rather find myself staring at someone I shouldn't be staring at, or smiling because of a kid, or even thinking about how nice the person my friend is crushing on (who ironically enough was someone I had a crush on) is. Now that I think about it, the second is the most harmless one, lol.

I'm a very straightforward person; did you know that?

Shit, I should get all this rubbish out of my head.

neutrality.

That word is supposed to be my defining personality.

These past few weeks, however, I have not been myself. I've been thinking, feeling, showing too much; while tolerating, ignoring, hiding too little. I liked, disliked, got annoyed, burst, and got my head messed up. All because I lost control of my brain, forgot who I was supposed to be.

I'm going to get my neutrality back. Took my first step today.

Here's the second.
I over-reacted, misinterpreted. It was all in my head. It wasn't you; it was me and my easily-messed-up head. I'm sorry I had thought that you were a flirt. Give me one day to get my head back on track, and everything will be back to normal, where you wouldn't even notice me being there. Give me one week and I may be able to stop making myself ignore you, for hopefully by then I'll already have my head in order and thus won't be affected by you.

The third step will come at a later date, once I am done with the second.

I'm gonna be the most neutral person. Like I used to be.

090304 F.T Island - MTV interview

This interview actually made me like Jaejin a lot more ♥. Hongstar is obviously my favourite member (because his voice and singing pawn everything else) and one of the strong contenders for my favourite voice ever, but if they weren't celebrities, I think I'd like Jaejin more. Ohwells xD.

FTI was featured in a TVB programme recently, and they performed I Believe. Hongki made me melt, totally.

Well, other than his singing, I like how Hongki is seemingly loved by all the sunbaes. (By the way, Hongki+Heechul FTW ♥♥♥! It's one of my favourite cross-over pairings other than Yunhae and Horella xP.) And that kid always makes me happy, whether it's his little reactions during variety shows, the sound of his laughter, the cheeky things he does, and many more. LOL I just love Hongki, WHAT xD.

All in all,

I think this week is a good one. I don't even know why I think so, lol.


My demons have been missing in action lately. COME BACK, guys. I really can't do without you.