Dear bloggie,
I went out to lunch with some classmates today. Before I went, I already knew that it wasn't a good idea. Why? Well, even though I can't say I know myself, I do know enough to know that I'm a social retard. I guess I'm just too salty that no amount of ice water can wash away the saltiness. But salt increases the melting point of ice, so then the frozen ice will just be there, and it'll be more difficult to melt it. I'm not making sense, am I?
So anyway. I admire people who are really friendly towards everyone and seems to always have something to say. But you know? I don't worship the jocks and I don't try to be like them. I don't say things just for the sake of saying something, or because some other person said it and it sounds cool. Admittedly, a few years ago I did try to behave differently; saying things just because I knew I had to say something, laughing out loud because everyone else was laughing, doing things that everyone else did. But after a while I realised that it wasn't who I am, I didn't feel like myself and I didn't feel happy. I was uncomfortable in my own skin. So I stopped and years after, I'm still stuck here being who I am.
I dislike going out in big groups. I'm totally fine with being invisible and no, I don't feel "neglected" at all when I'm not involved in whatever is going on. But I do feel uncomfortable when people are bothered whether I'm being unhappy or bored or whatever. Seriously, I'm fine.
I do think of those people; the group of people who are so fun-loving, friendly and nice that I never felt more like a misfit in my life. So I decided to keep my distance, 'cos they were better off without me.
They are better off without me too.
So now it's just you and me, bloggie.
