Monday 29 September 2008

blahhh.

Jay's album is leaked today, what the freakin' hell. I refuse to listen to them. Uploaders and downloaders who have no intention of buying the album, may you burn in hell. Yes, I mean it. I download too, but at least I wait until the album is released before downloading. (Not that it makes it any less wrong, but still..) It's 10 days before the official release date, for goodness' sake T.T.

HOSU! <333

These just blew my brain off, homg *__*.






























Credits: as tagged + 433@TTF

They were posted 3 days ago at Soompi, but I'm still backtracking, so pardon me if I'm slow xD. HOSU ROCKS MY SOUL, MAN ♥♥♥. I can't even express how spazzy I am now since I can't find the words to it xDD.

xP

I was having a conversation with my brother yesterday about the movies we want to watch, and I mentioned that I want to watch Van Helsing since Hugh Jackman is in it and I didn't get to watch it in the cinema back then. Just now, he passed me a Van Helsing DVD that he borrowed from his school library and said that he happened to see it there. I'm kinda touched, lol xP.

This reminds me of my birthday, when he gave me a $10 Haegen Dazs ice cream voucher which he gave my mother a few days before that day but took back from her the day before, saying he decided that he wanted for himself, haha. He got it for free for being one of the top students, but still.. =).

My brother is arrogant (although he has a right to be) and annoying at times, but I am actually glad that I have a brother like him xD.

Thursday 25 September 2008

Minwoo - 남자를 믿지마 (Don't Trust Men)



Credits to the dearest carmendove for subbing the video ♥.

The first single off Minwoo's album. Before I watched the MV, I already liked this song a lot. It's catchy and has got a nice electronic beat. I like the English verses part that Minwoo sang too; surprisingly the English is decent. Big Tone is featured in this song, and I think his rapping matches well with the whole atmosphere of the song. If you find that it sounds similar, that's maybe because it's produced by Brave Brothers, who produced for Big Bang and Taeyang. It's a new genre for Minwoo, and I think he's rocking it ^^.

Moving on to the MV. I think this MV is very well-shot; the lightning and everything looks good. Firstly, that car he was driving looks nice. Secondly, I like how we get a glimpse of how he works, from the recording to the dance practice with the dancers. And seriously, MR HOTTIE IS BACK, GIRLS. He looks sooo hot every second of the MV; if he were to release a book titled "How to be hot" or something, I'd totally buy it if I were a guy xDD. Guys should learn from him; he doesn't need any special clothes or anything to look hot, 'cos he's just naturally charming. (If you get what I'm driving at, haha xP.) I especially like the scene where he was dancing and he pulled the beanie slightly over his eyes at 1:41 (and the wife beater!); so sexy *__*. Well, basically the dancing scenes are just awesome; very smooth. And hey, it's Minwoo dancing 8D! I can't wait to see a LIVE performance of this song :D.

The lyrics are telling the girl not to love such a selfish and bad guy like him, while the MV kinda explains that he puts his music and career first. It's not written by Minwoo, but I can't help but wonder if the lyrics of the song truly reflect his own feelings. 'Cos well, I understand that he loves his music and I had expected that career would always be first for him, and that's totally fine, but the lyrics.. I don't know what to think of it. "I don't want to marry you but I do want to date you", "you're too good to give away but you're someone I don't wanna keep." Are those words only because his music is above everything else to him? Can I say what I wanna say? Heck, I'd say it anyway. Jerk. There, I said it. But at the very least, he did admit that he's a bad guy (and a player) and asked the girl not to forgive him. I don't wanna assume that that's how he is in real life (but I can't think of why he'd agree to sing such lyrics if he is completely not like that), so I'll just not take the lyrics too seriously.

But still, I love this song =). I hope his album will do well. Minwoo hwaiting ♥!

This new album is very different from his previous works; I'll review it properly another day ^^.

hahaa.

I just pre-ordered Jay's new album ^^. Originally I had wanted to get the limited edition, but since (from what I know so far) the only different thing is that it comes in a metal case plus a few extra postcards, I decided to get the normal edition. Both comes with the rubrics cube and well, paying 7 bucks bucks just for the metal case is kinda extreme, for me xP. Surprisingly, I'm still a rational fangirl. LOL xDD.

The rubrics cube is cool, anyway! It's got Jay's pictures on all sides except for two. I tried jumbling it up, but totally have no idea how to fix it. And it was so nice before too T.T.

Tuesday 23 September 2008

freaky!

It's so freaky how Hyungjoon's brother, Kibum is so similar to him. Like I said (in the other blog lol), they look similar at some angles and have the same fair skin. But then again, their voices are like, almost exactly the same too! Both their singing and talking voice. It's like Nick and Aaron Carter all over again. It's ironic how Hyungjoon is the maknae of SS501 but Kibum is the leader of U-Kiss, and Hyungjoon is the older brother, lol! And talking about U-Kiss, one of the members, Kevin, is so cute and pretty! But he's younger than me (by 4 months), so.. out of bounds, haha. The youngest in the group is 14 (o.0!), and he knows 7 languages, homg. But anyway, the whole band is out of bounds xP!

I think my bias towards Hyungjoon is showing; I have like 100 pictures of him more than the other members (considering I only have not even a hundred for the member with the least pictures, it's a big number). But at least it's not as bad as DBSK; I have like almost 1,000 of Yunho's pictures but only around 200 at the other end of the spectrum -.-".

I watched the cut of SS501 visiting Ast1. I think it's nice how they were sitting there with the hoobaes, giving them advices and stuff. (I spy doubleHJ in the beginning xD!) At first they were talking about nicknames and how Hyungjoon had a cute but masculine image when he debuted, but Leader said, "But recently he lost his chubbiness. And the confidence of showing some chest." (Well, it's true that only he had his top buttons undone, but Hyungjoon is always cute xDD.) Jungmin has a way with expressions =), maybe even more than Leader xP. But then they played a game (the boys were so excited, haha!) and I laughed SO hard when Jungmin jumped and ripped his pants, ROFLMAO. The members were literally laughing on the floor laughing, especially Hyunjoong and Kyujong, who were laughing hysterically. Hyungjoon and Youngsaeng bent down and laughed, then Hyungjoon sat down on a chair and laughed silently while Youngsaeng went to a corner and covered his face. Kyujong went over to hide Jungmin's butt immediately after he heard the sound, though. (I think being nice is just in his genes, but the way he was laughing was like, as crazy as Hyunjoong, lol. ♥) It must have been very embarassing for Jungmin, especially since he's very image-conscious xP. Then there was more advices given; I love how humble the boys are ♥♥♥.


..actually I really shouldn't be here, lol.

I'm telling you,

SHINHWA CHANGJO IS AWESOME. ♥♥♥♥♥♥














credits: yoenin + ShinHwaChangJo.net

^banners which were held by everyone (except a few) during the last song in Dongwan's concert on Sunday. Every word is an individual banner. Dongwan was so touched that he couldn't sing. He's enlisting really soon (maybe even before Eric), hence the theme of the concert is "Promise"; the promise with the fans that during the next bond between him and the fans won't be broken, even when he's serving the army. (Of course it won't be!) I just hope that I'll be given prior notice before he's enlisting, like a week or something, so that I won't be too shocked. And now that I think about it, the date of Jay's album release, 9th October, coincides with Eric's enlistment T.T.

o.0

Yesterday 稻香 was aired for the first time on Taiwan's radio. Some awesome fans ripped it and uploaded it for download! It's very clear, but there's Jay talking now and then, introducing the song. I put it into my iPod yesterday night and have been listening to it ever since. The play count now is 90, scary LOL xD. Sembawang Music said the date for pre-order isn't confirmed yet.

Today Minwoo's album is released in Korea. It's kinda saddening that the album is already available for download, but my self-restraint sucks and I already pre-ordered it anyway, so I'm downloading it for now. *guilty*

I reallyyyy need an iPod with bigger capacity; like I don't even have extra space to put in Minwoo's album in, let alone the upcoming DBSK, Jay, and all the other artists' new albums. What do I do now? ;___;

Sunday 21 September 2008

Jay's 9th album.

Okay apparently I'm slow 'cos the news was released 3 days ago, but I don't care I have to post this here. (And break my hiatus, lol.)


















Jay's new album, titled 魔杰座 (Capricon), will be out on 9th October, pre-order starts on 24th September. (I may have to call Sembawang to confirm the dates, 'cos I don't want to go there and get told that the pre-order date has been delayed, like.. 2 years ago?) The pre-order gift is a Jay rubrics cube; I have to get it xD! Jay does keep his promise of one album per year, which is to be expected but I didn't think it'd be this soon, with his world tour and all. The title is a word play on 魔羯座; change the 羯 to 杰, which is Jay's name. Brilliant title, don't you think? And he's a Capricon too! ^^

The title song is titled 稻香. I don't usually listen to song previews (I still remember how I freaked out when I heard 彩虹 on 933 last year; I didn't even know that it was Jay's new song but I immediately recognised his voice and just went ballistic 'cos it's so nice lol) but I couldn't resist and listened to it; and I really love it. The lyrics are written by Jay too, and they're really nice!

對這個世界如果你有太多的抱怨
跌倒了就不敢繼續往前走
為什麼人要這麼的脆弱 墮落
請你打開電視看看
多少人為生命在努力勇敢的走下去
我們是不是該知足
珍惜一切 就算沒有擁有

還記得你說家是唯一的城堡 隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑 小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑 鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好

不要這麼容易就想放棄 就像我說的
追不到的夢想 換個夢不就得了
為自己的人生鮮艷上色 先把愛塗上喜歡的顏色
笑一個吧 功成名就不是目的
讓自己快樂快樂這才叫做意義
童年的紙飛機 現在終於飛回我手裡
所謂的那快樂 赤腳在田裡追蜻蜓追到累了
偷摘水果被蜜蜂給叮到怕了 誰在偷笑呢
我靠著稻草人吹著風唱著歌睡著了
哦 哦 午後吉它在蟲鳴中更清脆
哦 哦 陽光灑在路上就不怕心碎
珍惜一切 就算沒有擁有

還記得你說家是唯一的城堡 隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑 小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑 鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好

(credits: jay-chou.net)

I really like the "
追不到的夢想 換個夢不就得了" part. Jay's lyrics-writing skill is getting better!

Shit I think I'm on a high now. Like, I keep replaying the preview and have to restraint myself from splitting into a wide wide grin. The reason why I don't usually listen to previews it that I don't want to have too high expectations of the album (because if one keeps comparing Jay's songs to his own older songs, I think he'll be pressurised), so now I have to suppress my expectations and stop listening to the preview. But still, I'm very excited for the new album. 杰倫加油! ^^

I read the news about Jay having a hard time due to the paparazzi and all the people mobbing him in public; he can't even go shopping or karaoke-ing 'cos a lot of people would be asking for his autographs and taking pictures and stuff, I think it's the price of fame, really. But still, poor him =X.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
-------
Moving on! Minwoo's album is gonna be released on the 23rd, DBSK's 24th, Jay's on 9th Oct, SS501 somewhere in October. I already pre-ordered Minwoo's, definitely pre-ordering Jay's. (My to-buy list is neater now 'cos I added one collection list. xD)

-start of ranting-

I don't know whether I'll be getting DBSK's 'cos well, one less album sold wouldn't make any difference to their album sales (the pre-order alone reached 200,000 on the first day, predicted to reach 500,000). They have been working really hard for the album, which I'm sure will not disappoint. (Their title track is good! The MV teasers killed a lot of fangirls, ROFL. I didn't get killed 'cos I really prefer to see them more covered up, haha!) But honestly, I feel kinda sad for other groups/artists. Shinhwa's album sales, for instance, got #1 in the first half of the year for reaching 100,000 (after a few days of release). They did it without any promotion at all, but then again, it's the album of their 10th anniversary, so I assume more people already bought the album. DBSK's album hasn't even been released and the pre-order has already broken records. I'm worried that Minwoo will be overshadowed, really, even though I know the Shinhwa Changjo-ers (♥
) will be there.

The same goes to Big Bang; the sales for their Stand Up mini album was #1 with 150,000+, while #2, SS501's Find mini album, got only around 20,000+ (if I remember correctly). And Big Bang got what, 3 (or was it 5?) consecutive Mutizen wins while Hyesung.. I don't even wanna talk about it. I'm not bashing 'cos I love 하루 하루 a lot and I'm happy for them, but I just feel sad for the other artists who don't get as much recognition even though their releases are as good.

And that is also part of the reason why I may be getting SS501 album. Their 1st album was the best debut album by any Korean group, imo, and I love their Korean releases. Besides, they are still underrated. There are talks about the clash between DBSK, Big Bang and SS501, but in all honesty, it's obvious who'll win. Which is fine, really, 'cos I like all of them. xPP

-end of ranting-

Oh and randomness: I love Brian; he's one awesome guy :D. Hwanhee sang one song for Beethoven Virus OST; homg his voice is so awesome as well xD. (I may want to watch that drama; seems interesting. ^^) FTTS FTW! =DD
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The CPop music industry is so much simpler, for me, 'cos I only see one person. xDD

my collection. (28/04/13)

周杰倫
CDs:

Jay
范特西
八度空間
The One Concert CD
葉惠美
Hidden Track EP
七里香
十一月的萧邦
霍元甲 EP
依然范特西
黄金甲 EP
牛仔很忙
魔杰座
龍戰騎士
跨時代
驚嘆號
十二新作

concerts:
2004 Incomparable
2007 The World Tour
2010 The Era World Tour

movies:
Initial D
不能說的.秘密


신화
CDs:
Vol. 9 - Shinhwa 10th Anniversary
Vol. 10 - The Return
Vol. 11 - The Classic

Minwoo 3rd album - Explore M
Minwoo 4th album - M Rizing
Dongwan 1st album - Kim Dongwan is..
Hyesung 3rd album Side 1 - Live and Let Live
Hyesung Winter Album - Winter Poetry

misc:
The Greatest Artist Shinhwa in 1998-2007
State of the Art Tour in Seoul 2006
10th Anniversary Concert
2012 Grand Tour: The Return

Beast
Shock of the New Era (Asia version vol. 1)
Mastermind
Lights Go on Again
Fiction and Fact (Limited Edition)
Midnight Sun


F.T Island
Vol. 1.5 - The Refreshment
Vol. 2 - Colourful Sensibility
Vol. 3 Repackaged - Double Date
Return
Memory in F.T Island
Grown Up


MISC
Backstreet Boys - Never Gone
Blue - Guilty
Boys Like Girls - Crazy World
Daughtry - Daughtry
Daughtry - Leave This Town
Daughtry - Break the Spell
Dead By Sunrise - Out Of Ashes
Lee Ryan - Lee Ryan
Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory
Linkin Park - A Thousand Songs
Linkin Park - Living Things
OneRepublic - Native
Simple Plan - No Pads, No Helmets... Just Balls

BoA - Best of Soul
Epik High - Remapping the Human Soul
Fly to the Sky - Best Album: Eternity
Fly to the Sky - Transition
SS501 - Vol. 1 - S.T 01 Now
SS501 - Destination
東方神起 - T
東方神起 - All About DBSK 2

飛輪海 - 飛輪海 首張同名專輯
林俊傑 - Sixology
羅志祥 - 催眠SHOW
王心凌 - 愛你
吳克群 - 大頑家
五月天 - 2008 十萬人.出頭天 LIVE DVD
五月天 - 第二人生
楊丞琳 - 曖昧
張芸京 - 相反的我
張芸京 - 小女孩

Tuesday 16 September 2008

ON HIATUS.

Well, as everyone knows, I'm gonna be on hiatus these few days due to my promos, which is starting next Monday, which is in SIX DAYS' time. Since I haven't started revision at all and I know if I were to take the exams now I'd be lucky to get 10/100, I really should start mugging now. I know I sound like I'm bullshitting and it's kinda too late to start now, but whatever.

So see you next Friday, when my promos are over and I'll be talking about how badly I screwed up.

Saturday 13 September 2008

CNN Talk Asia with Jay.


part 2 3

Credit: 19840915z @ youtube

It's an interview with Jay, in English xP. It's kinda weird that they dubbed Jay's replies; I'd have preferred subtitles instead. But I guess it's okay. The interview is pretty standard; he talked about his music, movies, the paparazzi, his mum, etc. He's appropriately confident about his work yet still remaining humble. He also said that he wishes to have a body-double to share his heavy workload with. Well, Jay, you asked for it! Nah I'm kidding, please do take some time off for yourself. Oh and we get to see his cool car at the end too 8D.

There are scenes from his MVs, concerts and movies; it makes me realise that Jay has really come a long way. I'm really proud of him =). But it also reminds me how much I miss him =(. When are you releasing your new album, Jay?

I have the urge to listen to Jay's songs and re-watch all his MVs and concerts now.

Friday 12 September 2008

Younha - 기억 (Memory) (feat. Tablo)

My eyes my ears
My hands my feet
My lips my heart
My soul remembers you


Even when he cracks a smile
In my eyes, you, you're smiling
Even when I hold hands with him
My hands feel your hands, only yours

My mind erased you
My heart emptied itself of you
I was sure I erased you
But I still can't

[Chorus]
Now, even if time tries to erase you
And I try to empty my mind of you
My body still, my body still remembers you
(I remember still, with you)
Even if I put away the pictures in which we were smiling
And I try to empty my heart of you
My body still remembers you

The memories which become clearer the more I try to erase them
The memories which come to me like excuses the more I try to hate them
They're living inside me
About when will I close my eyes in the darkness
Anyway when I walk forward, you're there
Even when I turn back, you're there

Even when I'm in his arms
My body feels you, only you
Even when I'm walking with him
My feet are with you, they are rooted beside you

[Chorus]

In my eyes, I only see you
Tears for you still gather
My two hands feel only you
As if handcuffed, I'm bound to the memories of you
Even passing strangers give off memories of you
I'm still going crazy 'bout you, because
My body still remembers you

It still remembers you
Even after erasing you away
(deleting you)
My everything remembers you


Credits: yonnieyonnie and bborigun @ youtube


I actually combined the translations from the two users. Will edit when I find one version that I feel is the best. Don't the lyrics scream "TABLO"?

Click HERE to download the song and here for a LIVE performance.

Younha's album is so freakin' amazing, man. So many good songs, I can't pick one favourite. The song of the moment is Memory (it changes everyday), which features Tablo in rapping and is also composed+written by him. This explains why the song has this Epik High feel to it; it's kinda quiet and one can't possibly sing this song well without the right emotions. In fact, I feel that in the LIVE performances the atmosphere is always so heavy, that I'd forget to breathe for a moment. The pitch is very high too, which makes it very difficult to sing. But Younha pulled it off flawlessly. Tablo's rapping is great as always, too. Both are them are so talented; gosh I just love them. *___*

Thursday 11 September 2008

080910 Dongwan + Younha - Something Stupid perf.




OMGOMGOMG YOUNHA AND DONGWAN. ON THE SAME STAGE.


*___________*


LOL sorry; I just didn't expect Younha, my #1 favourite female artist to be performing with one of my favourite Korean singers. xDD

The performance is great, their voices match and both performed very well. The harmonization is really nice! Younha's English is better than Dongwan's, but overall the English is decent. =)


They are even wearing MATCHING CLOTHES!

*end of fangirling*

xPP



For this episode, first Younha performed Telepathy; it's vocally great as usual. I really like how she always performs this song so energetically, with the piano and all =). After that here's Dongwan's cut: first there was the interview with Younha; she talked about how she used to listen to a radio show he DJ-ed in and he once picked her letter to read. And then he talked about his upcoming solo concert, how he was envious of Younha being able to have a solo career at such a young age (she was so CUTE at 2:06-2:08!) , and praised her piano-playing skills. (I don't understand Korean for nuts, but I read the articles and see Dongwan's body language xD.) Next is the Something Stupid performance (which I already spazzed about xP), and Dongwan's A Man's Love performance. It was fine, but he sounded tired. Please don't overwork yourself, Dongwan!


*burst*

I love how they were looking at each other while singing the song. Younha is so PRETTY, gosh girlcrushhh! Dongwan is looking good as always too. If their age aren't 9 years apart, I'd want them to get together. I think the age gap is fine but it's kinda impossible? *gets bricked* I should stop dreaming! xP














^the next line of the song is "that I love you" xDD. Okay I should shut up.

Oh and she's gonna be a guest performer in his upcoming concert too! ^^

Wednesday 10 September 2008

100908

Dear bloggie,

I went out to lunch with some classmates today. Before I went, I already knew that it wasn't a good idea. Why? Well, even though I can't say I know myself, I do know enough to know that I'm a social retard. I guess I'm just too salty that no amount of ice water can wash away the saltiness. But salt increases the melting point of ice, so then the frozen ice will just be there, and it'll be more difficult to melt it. I'm not making sense, am I?

So anyway. I admire people who are really friendly towards everyone and seems to always have something to say. But you know? I don't worship the jocks and I don't try to be like them. I don't say things just for the sake of saying something, or because some other person said it and it sounds cool. Admittedly, a few years ago I did try to behave differently; saying things just because I knew I had to say something, laughing out loud because everyone else was laughing, doing things that everyone else did. But after a while I realised that it wasn't who I am, I didn't feel like myself and I didn't feel happy. I was uncomfortable in my own skin. So I stopped and years after, I'm still stuck here being who I am.

I dislike going out in big groups. I'm totally fine with being invisible and no, I don't feel "neglected" at all when I'm not involved in whatever is going on. But I do feel uncomfortable when people are bothered whether I'm being unhappy or bored or whatever. Seriously, I'm fine.

I do think of those people; the group of people who are so fun-loving, friendly and nice that I never felt more like a misfit in my life. So I decided to keep my distance, 'cos they were better off without me.

They are better off without me too.


So now it's just you and me, bloggie.

Monday 8 September 2008

damn it.

I really really don't like those dances where you have to dance and hold hands with guys. Not because I mind the guys ('cos I don't, really), but because for some reason, a few seconds into the dance, my palms will get sweaty. And almost straight away, they will get cold and clammy too. It's really annoying and embarrassing. I'll feel bad for whoever is my partner. It's so weird that right before the dance my palms are perfectly dry and all but suddenly they just get sweaty and stuff. It's not as if I get nervous or whatever, 'cos I don't. And other times I don't usually have sweaty palms either. Urgh it's so freakin' frustrating. Is there a cure for this? T.T

Tuesday 2 September 2008

Hyesung's Because of You MV!



It starts off with Hyesung (still with his long hair) in a black suit driving a black convertible, then in the first chorus he stopped the car, put a photo and something on the car and after the chorus, transformed into the punk Hyesung with the short hair. I was pleasantly surprised 'cos really, he looks hot with the hair and that attire. *___* (I think it's the sleeveless vest and the arms, or maybe it's the wind blowing on the scarf (I don't know what it is), or.. I have no idea, lol.)

Next he started walking, carrying a bag, and suddenly there's this piano with polaroids stuck all over it; Hyesung picked up one of them, stared at it and suddenly, smiled. (It's at 1:44; DID YOU SEE IT?! I had to rewatch that smiling part in the midst of all the emo atmosphere 'cos homg; PRETTY! aflshglakas.) He then put the photo and another one of that something (that he put on his car) on the piano.

He continued walking and we see a drum set, a mic and an electric guitar. Then he started singing and strumming the guitar (even though it's just air-strumming at least it doesn't look fake); I think it's the sunset that makes the scene look gorgeous, especially the guitar solo part. Then at the English part, there's this girl who appearead and Hyesung stared at her (2:54; I've always thought that Hyesung has the best killer stare among the members) and suddenly turned crazy; smashing his guitar and things started blowing up, from his convertible to the piano to the drum set. Meanwhile we see the girl turning away and gradually left. The ending is Hyesung screaming, kneeling on the ground.

I didn't get the MV the first time I watched it (I think I was too busy oggling at Hyesung, lol), but I watched it again and I think I get it. The photos are photos of him and that girl, the thing he put on the car and piano is the bomb, the girl is just in Hyesung's memory and him blowing up the stuff with the pictures, plus her leaving, symbolise the end of their relationship. Or at least, I think so. xP

LOL that's just a 4-minute MV. xDD I love this song! =)

Monday 1 September 2008

frustrated.

Dramas that I like are ones that either make me laugh out loud all the time, or ones that make me cry even after I try not to. I hate dramas that depict a character that maliciously plans bad things for other people and takes joy in other people's suffering. Well, to be honest, I'm just scared of those people. More than ghost, monsters, zombies or draculas, I'm more scared of malice in humans. But anyway, back to the main point. I don't like to watch dramas where the main character deliberately does something that she knows will hurt herself. Like purposely creating a misunderstanding and then initiating a break-up to make the person she loves hate her. Even though I don't know anything, at least logically I know that that's really a whole lot of self-inflicted pain to swallow. And that's a lot of pain inflicted on the one she loves, too. It is necessary? Bullshit. I'm enjoying the drama less and less now.

random.

1. Went to the Singapore Flier with my mum yesterday; as it's a complementary ticket for August babies, only I got the ticket and hence I took it alone. Because I knew that I'd be in it alone, I didn't bother bringing camera along - it'd be just lights here and there. The ride was very long and it moved very slowly, but the night scenery was really nice. Ironically, what I found most beautiful wasn't the scenery, but the sight of people - couples, families and friends - using every minute in the capsule to take numerous pictures of the scenery with their loved ones. Staring out the window, I felt like a plague amidst all the happy people.

2. I realised that I have been running away from myself for so long that now when I try to express my emotions, I can't. I used to use the excuse that songs can represent my feelings better than words, but now when I can't even find the right songs that is in tune with what I'm feeling. And the words won't come out. But at the end of the day, I'll just go back to the belief that I planted deep within me - that I can be happy as long as I want to be.

3. I'm quiet because I have nothing to say, not because I keep everything to myself. I used to say that I don't mind silence and I won't feel awkward around people even if no conversation takes place. That's still true. When I'm with people I'm very comfortable with, silence doesn't bother me. When I'm with friends, when there's silence I rack my brain for something to say. When I'm with acquaintances, I don't bother to break the silence. Or maybe everything is false; maybe I just prefer to be left alone.

4. I'm not sensitive, I'm not caring, I'm not thoughtful. If you suspect that I don't care, then you are probably right. I'm someone who wouldn't notice if you feel down, who wouldn't ask a second time if you're okay.

5. I'm a coward - I have a wall around myself to prevent anyone from coming in. If you get too close and I see the danger of me expecting something from you, I'd run away. That way, I won't expect anything and you can't affect me in any way.

6. Happy and sweet songs are nice; they speak of hope, of love, of forever, of ideal things that are beautiful. They make me smile, and quite a number of them makes me happy. It's like how I felt when I watched Junsu recounting how he questioned the existence of God and ending with a smile that "of course God exists"; that innocence is really beautiful.

7. I love music, I love my iPod, I love fandoms. They don't go anywhere; they stay.