Kelly Clarkson - Cry

If anyone asks
I'll tell them we both just moved on
When people all stare
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk
Whenever I see you
I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue
Pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong

[Chorus]
Is it over yet
Can I open my eyes
Is this as hard as it gets
Is this what it feels like to really cry
Cry

If anyone asks
I'll tell them we just grew apart
Yeah what do I care if they believe me or not
Whenever I feel your memory is breaking my heart
I'll pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong

[Chorus]

I'm talking in circles
I'm lying, they know it
Why won't this just all go away

[Chorus]

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FAVOURITE SONG OF THE MOMENT, right here. I'm really not even in a bad mood or anything, but seriously, emo songs with heart-wrenching lyrics and singing are just the best. HAHAHA. But really, it's a very very good song with awesome singing. And I never have any problem with sad lyrics; I only do with overly-happy, fairytale-filled lyrics. LOL.

Younha - Peace, Love & Ice Cream

This song is really soothing, and it shows off her absolutely beautiful voice well. Man, I'd seriously kill to have a voice and singing ability like hers. The MV is really simple, but doesn't she look totally gorgeous in it, guh *_________*.

I love Younha ♥♥♥♥♥.

:(

We got a Bronze.

I thought that we played okay actually, so the result was unexpected. I thought we'd get at least a Silver.

Sad :(.

But well, we gave it our best shot, so I have no regrets.

Tomorrow is D-DAY! :D

It's SYF tomorrow! Can you feel my excitement? :DD

I don't care if the judges are gonna be thinking, "Finally, it's one last school before my lunch!" when it's our turn to play. We're gonna make them sit up and listen to our performance seriously >:D. I don't know if we're gonna achieve our goal - GOLD - but I know that everyone has been working hard for this, and no matter what result we get in the end, I think the journey itself is a memory that will stay with us for a long time. I'm not even that nervous, actually, 'cos honestly, our playing is okay. We just need to relax, slow down, and play how we usually do during practices. And we'll kick ass :D. None of my guitar friends know of my blog, but whatever, ALL THE BEST, GUYS ♥!

It's quite amazing and amusing at the same time how one SMS can make me happy, haha x).

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I'd be lying if I say that I wasn't in the least bit hoping that someone else would SMS me, even though that's really impossible, or I'd accidentally bump into that someone, and even though since a few weeks ago we usually ignore each other for reasons that are unknown to even myself, we'd for once smile at each other and that person would wish me luck.

But I'm getting better. At least I don't look in that direction or purposely walk past that area 12345 times a day. I told CY about this matter and once during guitar practice I even told her to hit me every time I look in that direction, haha. Not very effective 'cos she's too nice, but the point is that I can stop myself now x).

I will survive this :D.

Hi there, stranger.

I hope we won't bump into each other again.

I LOVE KYOUKO xDDD.

Wednesday :D.

Pardon my lack of creativity in coming up with post titles, LOL xD.

My eyes were seriously on the verge of closing today after lessons, even before guitar practice started. Not even the second can of mocha helped. But surprisingly I managed to be all fine during practice. How amazing, haha!

I need to start thinking about my Personal Qualities (PQ) for my SGC; I have to send to my PD Tutor by this week. Anyone can tell me what kind of person you perceive me as xP?

One random fact: I laughed in my sleep twice in the last two weeks. I think I was dreaming of guitar practices, where we have to nod and stuff at some parts of the songs, which can be hilarious haha. I'm not sure, though, as I always forget dreams once I wake up. It's REALLY freaky, though =X.

6 days to SYF. We can do it! :))

random thought...

I took 4 weeks to get my head back on track. At least, I think I have by now.

That's a really long time, omg o.O.

I should have gotten over it by now, ....right?

I have, I have.

determined.

When life is hectic as hell, an uneventful day is a good day.

7 days to SYF -- 加油!


我又何苦在乎得不到的温柔

After listening to 沿海公路的出口 on repeat for 5 days straight, 我想 我想通了 :).


Anyone who's sick now, take care! Panadol is the best medicine :DD. (They should pay me advertising fees, lol xD.)

exhausted.

Just came home after guitar practice. We'll be having practices every day this week, 3 hours a day. I realised that I only ate one packet of wedges (plus 1 cup of iced coffee and another of pink guava) the whole day, which may explain why I'm having quite bad gastric pains.

Hope the pain won't come again tomorrow.

But it's okay, I'll have my favourite pain-killer :).

PANADOL.

What, haha.

change.

Nowadays I have the urge to create a new, password-protected/friends-locked blog. There are things I want to write here and knowing that I can't write everything, I've been repressing my emotions. Maybe I will, create one. Or maybe I won't, 'cos those things I repress are better off repressed, for it's too shameful to admit that they're my feelings. I don't know.

Fly to the Sky - 가버려 너 (Just Go, You)

^not the official MV; the uploader made it and I thought it flows well with the song.


It’s so lonely to cry alone
Because the one that used to hold me
is no longer there
So why did you give me so much warmth?
I would be able to erase you
If you were bad to me just once.

[Chorus]
Go away, please go away
Leave from my heart that longs for you all day
One more time, just one more time
I hate that all I dream is for you to come back
I beg you, go away

Why did you do this?
Even if you were cruel to me
I would have hated you for a bit
and continued loving you forever

[Chorus]

Even if I regret the memories of our love
Thoughts of you that rise up like a habit
I guess only I, who considered you my all, am like this
I really must be a fool

[Chorus]


(Lyrics translation credits to http://www.yeeun2grace.com/.)
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This is the second time I'm posting this song. I don't know, I really love it. The boys' singing are top-notch here; Hwanhee's singing is much more controlled, which is great, and Brian's voice and singing are enough to make me melt. I love the lyrics too.

Just go, you.

FTI - The One @ 2009 Japan fanmeeting

This was Wonbin's final performance with the band. I watched a few of the other videos of the fanmeeting and they it's really sad ;___;. The One is such a cheerful, happy, song, but it's so heartbreaking to see Jonghun barely letting out 2 words before totally breaking down, Wonbin singing with his shaky voice 'cos he was crying, and Jaejin covering his mouth and turning away when Wonbin was singing and sang his part on-and-off 'cos he was also crying. (Minhwan wasn't there 'cos he was filming his drama.) Wonbin was calmer compared to the other two; he sang the whole of Meeting by himself really well and during The One he even sang the harmonisation part. Hongki wasn't crying and he sang his part fine, but he looked down all the time and it's obvious he was really upset. My guess is that he already cried his eyes out when singing Please Don't Love during the concert.

why.

I actually felt my mood plunge. Somebody tell me why.

I realised that when I'm feeling down and I'm with someone I trust, I tend to spill, 'cos they'd somehow know that I'm down. But when I'm with acquaintances and normal friends I'm not very close with, I'd laugh and talk a lot of crap, and they'd think that I'm high instead. Am I good at faking or what, lol.

I'm in a super good mood today :DD.

The term "jailbait" really amuses me to no end these days, LMAO.

I was super high today; the adrenaline lasted from morning all the way 'till noon. It was almost like I was on crack, lol xD.

I passed my NAPFA retest! It's amazing that I managed to pass standing broad jump :)).

Lessons end at 12.45 on Thursday, but had to wait 4 hours for the Physics Value-Added (VA) program. Almost got bored to death, omg.

Tomorrow is Friday -- another long day :(.

But I'm still in a good mood, albeit tired =].

hmms.

I always feel super tired on Wednesdays =X.

Tuesday :).

Doesn't the title remind you of this post 2 weeks ago?

I realised that when my mind is clear, I can take statements at face value, interact with others normally and react to things naturally. Even freaks and weirdos can't ruin my good mood. In short, I'm invincible :DD.

It's kinda weird that different people have different opinions about me. I don't mind all of them (whether they're good or bad opinions), really, 'cos I think the ones who are close to me know how I'm really like. But I guess it's true that I behave differently in different situations, towards different people, when I'm in different moods. CY said that I'm "crazy" and "many-faced", LOL. Well, to put it nicely, I just have many sides to my personality xD.

Today is a good day :).

random post xD.

I've been listening to some SS501's songs recently, the old songs they did for soundtracks, some new solo songs, etc. I really like their music :). They have been doing solo/sub-group stuff these few months, but they're now together, preparing for their new album, which will tentatively be out in July. Can't wait! After all, even though they're all good in their solo/sub-group activities, I love them as a group much more; their personalities shine when they're together =].











SS501 hwaiting ♥!

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Have you heard Big Bang and 2NE1 (the female Big Bang) song, Lollipop? It didn't sound that nice at the first listen, but I don't know, it's really addictive ^^.



GD's hair... IDEK >.<.

090305 Idol Army Ep. 14 with SHINee

(^The first part of the first episode; 2 episodes in total.)

Boom and 2PM are the hosts for this show. SHINee came for this episode, and I randomly clicked on it from some post in livejournal because it sounds like crack. And seriously, I'm almost bursting a rib from too much laughing, lolol. TOO MUCH CRACK OMGOMG. Everything is funny, even the captions. And I'm not even in 2PM or SHINee's fandom! So much fan-service; it's making me spazz like mad HAHAHA.

Nichkhun is cute! But I already said that before xP. I joined khun-a-day at lj quite a long time ago, even though I don't know the group at all, LOL. Someone actually commented that he looks like Jimmy Lin (who has a super adorable baby face, btw); I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that way xD. And his mirror-dancing of SHINee's Replay is so cool!

I think it's such a coincidence that there are Junsu and Junho (real names) in 2PM, and Junsu is the vocal of the group haha!

I haven't finished watching; will continue to watch xD. Will live-edit as I watch, lol xPP.

Nichkhun/Minho HOMG. My heart can't take this lolol! I bet a lot of fanfictions were written on them xDDDD.

Jaebum is cute too :). He looks like a kid; doesn't look like the oldest, haha!

I suspect Key has one loose screw, LOL.

Taemin is such an innocent little kid =].

2PM's Junsu looks a little like Jang Woo Hyuk. Is it just me? haha

Hongki is a natural :D.

He has always looked like that! So adorable, guhhh. Even now, he still looks exactly the same, just without some of the baby fats.






















A short cut from the drama he acted in ^^.




That's one of the good things of having been exposed to the media since young, if you're a celebrity -- no one can say that you're fake. muahaha.


















That girl is so lucky to be hugged by Hongki, even more so when he's smiling like that, omg *___*.


Hongki, Hongki. Recently my fandom posts are all about you. What do I do?

lalalaa.

I've been in a good mood, and no one can spoil it :D.

happy :D.

I got an A for PW :D! My whole group got A; the only group in the class whose all members got A. In total, more than half of my class got A, and the rest B. That's such an unexpectedly good result :)). All my slogging was worth it, haha!

My head is cleared, all the devils are gone, and Monica is a free girl x).

SYF rehearsal yesterday was okay. The concert hall was big and cool (also literally), and the sound was different there. We had to play extra loud, that at the end of the day some of us were saying that we might just get blisters on our right hand. But it was lucky that we got to try out the sound in the real SYF venue, otherwise we'd be really screwed on the real day. It's 18 days to SYF xDD.

I need to lose weight D:<.

I'm saving money for Epik High's album. It's $40+!

zzzz.

I'm super tired. I thank the previous batch of Exco for giving me this post which I find to be fun, but I really think that they should have given it to someone more competent, musically. I seriously suck so bad, I'd wished that I could dig a hole and hide in it. From now on I'm gonna let the more pro ones take over. Guh, I can't believe how arrogant I have been. I'm gonna make sure that the person taking my post will have a strong enough music background >:[.

I don't like anybody, in case you're wondering. Honestly.

It's 9pm and I feel like hitting the sack. ZZZzzzz.

sleepy!

PW result is gonna be out this Thursday! I'm so excited :DD.

We're gonna have SYF full-dress rehearsal at RP on Thursday too, at 7-9pm. I'm suddenly feeling really nervous about the SYF =X. (Which is gonna be on the 28th; did I mention it before?)

Had one day full of Physics tutorial today; for 3 hours. Maths and Econs tutorials are moved to Thursday, only for this week. I almost died, man x__x. I had not even done the tutorial past the first 2 questions 'cos I didn't (and still don't fully) understand the topic. It's quite amazing that I managed to survive the 3 hours.

Thursday is gonna be a very busy day. But I believe that I can make it through the emotional roller coaster. If you know what I'm talking about, haha x).

I reached home early today and had wanted to sleep for 2 hours, but something really disturbing kept me awake. Seriously, someone tell me I'm just being delusional/over-sensitive/vain. And I'll be really grateful.

I, frankly, would rather find myself staring at someone I shouldn't be staring at, or smiling because of a kid, or even thinking about how nice the person my friend is crushing on (who ironically enough was someone I had a crush on) is. Now that I think about it, the second is the most harmless one, lol.

I'm a very straightforward person; did you know that?

Shit, I should get all this rubbish out of my head.

neutrality.

That word is supposed to be my defining personality.

These past few weeks, however, I have not been myself. I've been thinking, feeling, showing too much; while tolerating, ignoring, hiding too little. I liked, disliked, got annoyed, burst, and got my head messed up. All because I lost control of my brain, forgot who I was supposed to be.

I'm going to get my neutrality back. Took my first step today.

Here's the second.
I over-reacted, misinterpreted. It was all in my head. It wasn't you; it was me and my easily-messed-up head. I'm sorry I had thought that you were a flirt. Give me one day to get my head back on track, and everything will be back to normal, where you wouldn't even notice me being there. Give me one week and I may be able to stop making myself ignore you, for hopefully by then I'll already have my head in order and thus won't be affected by you.

The third step will come at a later date, once I am done with the second.

I'm gonna be the most neutral person. Like I used to be.

090304 F.T Island - MTV interview

This interview actually made me like Jaejin a lot more ♥. Hongstar is obviously my favourite member (because his voice and singing pawn everything else) and one of the strong contenders for my favourite voice ever, but if they weren't celebrities, I think I'd like Jaejin more. Ohwells xD.

FTI was featured in a TVB programme recently, and they performed I Believe. Hongki made me melt, totally.

Well, other than his singing, I like how Hongki is seemingly loved by all the sunbaes. (By the way, Hongki+Heechul FTW ♥♥♥! It's one of my favourite cross-over pairings other than Yunhae and Horella xP.) And that kid always makes me happy, whether it's his little reactions during variety shows, the sound of his laughter, the cheeky things he does, and many more. LOL I just love Hongki, WHAT xD.

All in all,

I think this week is a good one. I don't even know why I think so, lol.


My demons have been missing in action lately. COME BACK, guys. I really can't do without you.