I'm gonna try being honest for once.

I'm a normal 17-year-old girl. I do have minor superficial crushes on guys from time to time, especially since I'm naturally a neutral person who is open-minded and accepting towards almost everyone. And if you haven't noticed already, I'm really straight, haha. In fact, if you:

1. are nice/friendly, or at least seem nice,
2. are mature, or at least seem like you're mature inside,
3. smile a lot,
4. SMS with appropriate smiley faces,
5. look pleasant, which doesn't necessarily mean good-looking,
6. behave like a guy,
7. aren't annoying most of the time,
8. aren't shorter than me,
9. aren't younger than me,

then it's not totally impossible that I've had a crush on you before. This crush can be as short as 3 seconds, or as long as a few days, but all of them are superficial. That's the bad thing about being so neutral: I'm prone to all these crushes. The list above is not even my standard or anything; it's the trend that I notice in the guys I've had crushes on. The last one is, though; as much as possible I tell myself that guys younger than me are out of bounds, even if it's only one day younger.

However, because of my low self-esteem and what I'd refer to as high self-awareness and self-restraint, I've been able to get over them really quickly. Maybe except for just one. The demons have been of great help, haha.

In general, I like nice guys. But like I said, they're just minor crushes. I've never really known what the word "love" means in real terms, even though I've been using it in every fandom post you can find in this blog. Maybe it's because I'm always telling myself that someone like me will never be loved. Which is why I think it is admirable to love -- it takes great courage to love someone, or even to admit to yourself that you're in love.

But for now, I need more demons, please.