I knew that you noticed that there's something weird about me. I think you could even guess the reason why, even though it might not have been entirely accurate. Thanks for spelling it out loud and clear. I already cleared my head and got over it, but I think now I can finally let go. I really tried, but I realised that I can't go back to how I was. I can't go back, for I can't pretend that nothing is wrong, for hypocrisy isn't in my blood. But it's okay, I'm fine with how things are now. Even if you're reading this, though that's impossible, I'm fine with that.
It's been seven hours since I started feeling like there's a lump in my chest, that I can't get rid of. It's kinda hard to breathe. I was really unstable in these past 7 hours; sighing deeply (it was partly because I was trying to breathe), shaking in laughter and finding myself staring into space every now and then. My switch was broken. Thanks, CY :).
I didn't want to go for guitar practice at first, 'cos I felt like I was going to and needed to puke. Still went in the end, though, as I am a responsible Coordinator LOL. I think it's kinda obvious to the other mentors that I was feeling down, since at times I'd slap myself before going into the room, setting my face into a smile. It should have been quite obvious to the J1s too since I wasn't as high as usual, and I told my group that I was in a bad mood, laughing after that. haha. Luckily I didn't have a mirror with me, so I couldn't see how fake I must have looked.
I think some people have the natural ability to make others around them happy. Thanks, kid, for making me forget, even if it was only for that short moment =].
Been listening to Moonlight Angel on repeat for the whole day. Somehow it feels kinda ironic.
The lump in my chest is still there. I think I need to drink lots of water and make myself puke or something, then sleep really early. Then I'll be fine tomorrow :).
Good thing there's no school on Monday! How I wish I can take the whole week off.
