WARNING: This is going to be long and wordy, since the stupid me didn't bring my camera there.
Some of the Thai names may be wrong, since I only go by the pronounciation.
1. I went on this trip doubtful, dreadful. I doubted my ability to teach and I doubted whether I'd be able to connect with the kids. I dreaded how I wasn't in the least bit close with my team members (except for Chee Ying and a few okay others) and I dreaded the many uncertainties that come with the trip. Because of these, I actually said that I wouldn't mind if my worried parents were to tell the school that they wouldn't allow me to go on the trip. Which would have been the biggest mistake of my life.
2. The first thing I noticed about Thailand was the people -- how random strangers would say, "Sawadee-ka" to me and how friendly everyone seems. The school really treated us like kings, to say the least. They had everything prepared for us (food, accomodation), and did everything they could to keep us comfortable. Oh and another thing: the girls all have the same short hairstyle, as it's one of the school rules xP.
3. The food was good! I would have preferred less meat, though, since there was pork/chicken on every meal, lol xP. Surprisingly I had only one meal with tom yum, which is surprising since I was frightfully expecting tom yum every day, haha. We tried papaya salad on our way back on Sunday, which was sooo spicy. Everything was so cheap, I wished we had more chances to go shopping. But if we had, we would have even less time with the kids, so it's okay ^^.
4. The weather was cold in the mornings and nights, but hot in the afternoons. (Our OCIP jacket is super comfy!) The village is quiet and peaceful, with trees all around, kids walking around (some of the students live in houses in the school, since their homes are far away), bugs flying around and cats and dogs everwhere. The animals bothered me a little, but after some time, I got used to them. My bunk was the best among the 4 bunks (as repeatedly said by the guys, haha) and I slept well every night.
5. Me and Chee Ying were kinda stressed out because we'd have to play guitar for the Christmas Carolling, so we practiced on Wednesday and Thursday nights. It was actually quite enjoyable, as the more I practiced, the more confident I was. Wenhang and Onzen were really patient with us too :).
6. My class was M6/2, which has 31 students (even though I never did see a full attendance) with age ranging from 17-20. It was quite weird to be teaching a group of students who are older than me, but somehow they didn't feel older than me. Maybe it's because most of them (except a few of the guys) are shorter than me, or maybe because the way they behave was still quite childish in a way. Generally the girls are studious and are faster in receiving the lessons (Fam's English is better than the rest, and she helped a lot by explaining to the rest in Thai) while the guys are more playful and a lot of times they didn't even pay attention in class (except for Cha, who did pay attention). I was initially shocked at some of the girls who wore lipstick (or was it coloured lip balm?), and there was this girl, Gan, who reminds me of the ah-lians in Singapore. The guys are jokers and friendly, even though they did annoy me a little when they didn't pay attention or slept in class. I remember that Phet was the first person to make me feel welcome in the class, since he was smiling and stuff ^^.
7. For teaching, Ching Wan (co-form teacher for my class) was in-charge of Maths and Science, while I was in-charge of English (and games xP). It was quite difficult, especially for Maths and Science, since the standard of English of my class was lower than expected. The terms took a lot of time to explain, and a few times I complained to myself how the standard of M6/2 is so much lower than M6/1 (all the /1s are the best classes). English lessons are easier and less dry, in my opinion, since the methods of teaching varied and there was no technical terms. (Dictionary rocks too, by the way xD.) As difficult as it was, the teaching was a good experience. I remember going around the class asking whether they understood what Ching Wan was teaching during his lessons but almost all were catching no ball, so I went one-on-one with some of them, and even then it took quite a long time of repeated explaining to get the point across. I think he did a good job and was well-prepared for his lessons. In comparison, I was going with my gut feeling and didn't really plan beforehand. I was also quite depressed when the students seemed very bored. For these, I'm really sorry to Ching Wan. But ultimately, I think we make good teaching partners :).
8. During teaching, I was surprised at myself. Anyone who knows me would say that I'm quiet, introverted, stiff. I know this too myself, which was why I was worried whether we would be able to interact well with the class (since Ching Wan also seems to be that type). But very surprisingly, as I was conducting the games and explaining some of the English words, I didn't care about how the kids would think of me, I didn't care about my image, and just acted out anything I could think of. I might have looked like a fool, but I don't care xP.
9. At night after dinner, we had night tuition (for those kids who stay in school). We were split into 2 groups: one to the guys and the other to the girls. I was one of the group assigned to the guys. Me and Chee Ying ended up with this group of 5 M2 and M3 guys (age 14-15), and we taught them English. I think night tuition was much easier than teaching in class, since the group was smaller. It was really enjoyable and I looked forward to it every day, to the extent that I almost didn't want to go to the night market on Friday as we would then miss the night tuition. And the kids are really cute! I can only remember two of their names (No and Chim), but all of them are really cute, especially No xD. On the second night on Thursday, I taught them to sing Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, since they wanted to sing instead of study. I was again surprised at how I even dared to sing in front of them, haha.
10. On Thursday, we were told that there was going to be no homestay, since the situation in Thailand had worsened and it was best to stay as a group. We might have to cut the trip and come back on the 6th. There were changes to the programme, and there were things we need to prepare.
11. On Friday night after the night market, we were told that the 2-day Science camp would be cut to one day on Saturday, and then the news broke that the situation in Bangkok had again worsened and that the Singapore government would arrange a flight out of Thailand as soon as possible for Singaporeans still in the country. We would be leaving on Sunday.
Initially I was only shocked. Then I remembered Kin, who asked me to play volleyball after class earlier in the afternoon, and I told her that I couldn't as we would be going to the night market and that there were a lot of things I needed to do to prepare for the Science camp. I remembered Oh, who asked me to take a picture with him the next day, after which one of the girls told him that there was no class on Saturday and then he said, "Monday", which I agreed to. I remembered Wan, who told me happily that I would be staying at her house for the homestay, to which I regretfully told her that there would be no homestay due to the turmoil, and I saw how the smile on her face faded away. I remembered how I was saddened and disheartened at how for whatever reason only half of my class turned up that morning, and how bad I felt of myself when after lunch when more of them came, they all seemed so bored during the lessons. I remembered how throughout the day I was continuously thinking of how to make the lessons more interesting, so that my students could benefit more from them. I was thinking even as I was bathing before the briefing, during which I decided that I should give them a test on Monday.
Then my team members started crying, guys and girls alike. Lionel (our school counsellor, and one of the three teachers who went with us) told us to say our feelings at that moment, and as one by one they recounted, crying, how they had made promises with their classes, what they wanted to do on Monday. Xian Yao mentioned that he would like to go there again next year. I want to, myself. But then I thought about how my class won't be there anymore (since they are graduating), and felt even sadder. As they were talking, I recalled the above things and I cried too. Very badly, in fact, that during my turn I was trying very hard to keep my voice stable, while choking on my tears. I was, for the third time, surpised at how sad I was feeling, since I'm a well-known rock. Even during the toilet break, when I took a short walk, I burst out crying, and had to look up and pretended that I was looking at the beautiful stars.
That night all of us slept late, writing letters for our classes and preparing the gifts we brought for them. I was that close to memorizing all of my students' names, but since I had forgotten some of their names, I only wrote one letter to the whole class. I didn't purposely lower the standard of English as I wanted to express myself the best way I could.
12. Wenhang, who was one of the ICs, fell sick on that day and even had to stay in the hospital that night. I was kinda shocked as in the morning she was still her cheery self, but fortunately, she pulled through.
13. The morning on the next day, I think some of the kids already knew about us leaving, and after breakfast when some of my team members went to talk to their students, they were all crying. I was walking around the area, saying, "Sawadee-ka!" brightly to every person I saw, attempting to not spend the day being depressed. Then I saw two of my class' girls at their breakfast area, went over, and told them that we would be leaving on Sunday. Even when I was saying it I could feel my eyes welling up, so after I finished my sentence, I smiled, said goodbye, and left that area, muttering under my breath that I should stay away from that place, the "source of tears".
14. The Science Camp on Saturday was really tiring, since we, the "high" group facilitators, all shouted at the top of our lungs. In the morning, the Director of the school explained to the students about us leaving on Sunday, so some of them were crying. Only 2 of my students went for the Science Camp (only class leaders and the chosen ones got to go) and both of them weren't in my group, so I guess that made it much easier for me. All of us controlled our emotions and put up a really good show. We gave it our all, right to the end. Good job to the Programme Team, we finally made it :)! I really admire Wee Kiat, who shouted himself hoarse, ran and jumped around as the MC of the day. He did a truly tremendous job, not once letting the mood go down *clapclap*. He cried during the closing ceremony, but apparently he has the type of face which doesn't show even after he cries. Lucky him.
15. After the Science Camp, me and Ching Wan gave our gift to La and Phet (he wasn't there for the Science Camp, I'll talk about it later). I ran to the bunk to take it, but I was really tired and walked back to the hall, but on the way Phet came on his motorcycle to fetch me :D. It's been really long since I last rode on a motorcycle (back in Indo....), so even though it was just a few seconds, it felt really good :).
16. That night, we had a last Thanksgiving dinner. Phet and a few other boys were there making the bamboo rice, which is very fragrant. I brought two short ones home xD. Then we had a karaoke session, which was mostly the Thai guys singing Thai songs we didn't understand and the rest of us jumping/dancing along to them while the Thai kids sang and danced. I think I was never that high before, other than during Linkin Park's and Jay's concerts, haha. I jumped/swayed/danced/cheered along like a crazy woman and I must have looked like a fool, but who cares? After a number of songs I was really tired, but I continued jumping along, haha. During one of the slower Thai songs, we were swaying along with our hands on each others' shoulders, and even though I didn't understand a word, I cried. It wasn't that bad, though, as I stopped myself after a few seconds, and continued partying. We really enjoyed ourselves :).
At 9 pm, Lionel stopped the party, which was fortunate as if he hadn't, we could have gone on until the next morning. Everyone wanted to stay, no one wanted to say goodbye.
17. The next morning, there was a crowd of Thai kids near our breakfast area, and after breakfast, we all went to see our students, to say our last goodbyes and took pictures with the kids. I took pictures with some of them in some of the Thai kids' handphones and cameras; please keep that piece of memory for me :). I was actually skipping around, singing softly under my breath. I felt like dancing Boriquito, haha xD. Anyone who saw me would think that I was really high. Which I was ^^.
A few of my class girls were there; we took pictures and I gave my phone number to one of them. I was actually feeling grateful that none of them were crying, haha. But right before we left, when I was sitting in the van, Wan and Leng ran to the window, Leng crying, and for a few moments I could still smile at them and waved goodbye. But then I started to tear and so I looked away, blinked away my tears, smiled and continued waving goodbye to them. I eventually gave my name tag to Leng. As the van moved away from the school, I really cried. But I managed to stop after a few minutes.
18. I really enjoyed this trip. I should have brought my camera, but I'd like to think that I won't forget this experience that soon. I love my class, all of them, even Oh, Eh, and their gang of guys, who are nice towards me but don't listen in class. I love my cute night tuition kids. I love my OCIP team. They're all very cool people :).
19. I don't have any regret. Even though 5 days were really too short and I would have liked to stay longer, at least until the 9th as planned, and there were so much more I could have done, I did my best and gave it my all. I learnt a lot from this experience, and discovered more about myself. I used to keep a distance between myself and other people, since I was afraid of my feelings not reciprocated, afraid of getting hurt. But I realised that goodbyes are part of life, and getting hurt in the process after giving out your love can actually feel good. At least, during this trip I didn't hold back, I was being myself. So thank you, Sob Moei kids, not just for the many gifts and hospitality, but for allowing me to grow as a person. I'm missing them already, haha.
20. I hope I can go back there next year after the "A"s, maybe with the rest of the team? ^^
