I'm no Christian. I used to want to be a Catholic, but sometime in my process of growing up I realised that I actually didn't really believe in God. I read the Bible as stories, not real accounts of past events. Sometimes I prayed, but not because I believed, but because I found comfort in the idea of someone greater, someone out there looking out for me. Therefore I decided to call myself a free thinker, until now. If anyone asks me to go to church, I'll smile and politely refuse, but inside I'm laughing 'cos I know that I can't bring myself to believe, which defeats the purpose of going to church in the first place.
But when I see people who are devoted to their faith and believe without questioning, I don't have any negative feelings towards them. It's actually a weird feeling, and I don't know what it is. If I see someone whose life was changed for the better after he/she found God, I'll say, "Good for you." In fact, I have quite a couple of pictures of Yunho praying; before a performance, before the recipient of an award was announced, etc. There was one video clip of DBSK eating some ramen (I think) for a Japanese show (it was during Summer Dream promotion period), and before they started eating Yunho sorta leaned forward, caught Junsu's eye, and both of them bowed their heads for a second before eating. I replayed that scene a few times, haha. And there's that clip of Junsu recounting how he once questioned God's existence, which never fails to bring a smile on my face.
And now there's Tim. I've been listening to his songs, from the earliest first. I tried to find videos of him singing his songs or his MVs, and discovered that there are so little of them on Youtube. But then I stumbled upon that^ video of him singing Thank You for Saving My Life, which is a Christian song (not his song, though). He has a Christian song in his 2nd, 3rd and 4th album too. (His albums are actually really good; I can't believe I never listened to them until now.) I think it's pretty apparent how he never tries to hide his faith. Somehow it gives me a weird feeling.
I.. want to believe.
